rhiannon_s: (brain)
There was a programme on telly about ordinary (for BBC values of ordinary, you know, ex-copper, ex-city wbanker types, and one genuinely ordinary person who was dumped out in the first round [spoilers]) people who wanted to be garden designers. I reckon I could pitch a full size garden in the "concept" category.

Picture it. Roughly broken into three sections. The foreground and rear right, the rear centre, and rear left. The fore ground is crazy paving, but all unevenly laid (and the paving will have things like broken glass, bottle tops, and similar embedded in the concrete of the slabs). This shows us the first aspect of planting, with things like hundreds and thousands, tiny little ferns, fox and cubs (the small group of these will have a horseshoe staked into them), common weed species, and papaver somniferum. There are three main features in this section, an oak tree - obviously sickly and perhaps even hollowed out, underplanted with aconites and conium maculatum, also a broken off police lantern (one of the upright dome ones from Juliet Bravo panda cars) on its side still sadly rotating slowly. Right down at front left foreground is a smooth white plastic pillar, slightly yellowed, it is 2.03 metres high. On the top is some smooth, beautiful, bowling lawn grass. Projecting out at each corner of the compass are hanging basket-globes on gleaming steel supports, containing a variety of blue plants (and with internal watering equipment, there can be a very small sprinkler on the bowling green) and immediately blow that are projecting wrought iron spikes. The third foreground feature, we'll get to in a minute.

To the rear right is a white marble podium/terrace rising to 1.72 metres in height. Inset into the marble blocks is a design made op of circles with steel wire radials and black circumferences. Leading up to the podium, on which a gleaming steel and glass bench is sat, are some steps -again white marble- oblong in shape, with rounded front edges, on each step are words. Self-respect. Compassion. Freedom. And similar. Before you can access the steps though you'll notice there is a gate, again of thick wrought iron and with a heavy lock, hoever instead of a key you'll notice it has a credit card reader instead. The steps are edged with steel railings, not quite as bright as the gleaming steel bench, more a dull brushed steel with little circular holes in them and black plasticised handrail. On reaching the top you can pause to sit a while, edging the terrace in a mini-haha trench so you can see it from the podium, is a run of prunella vulgaris. You'll notice that set into the (thinning) canopy of the oak tree are a number of gilded pots containing crassula ovata. Small gilded wrought iron spikes edge the terrace (be careful you don't fall, it is a long way down). On the other side, leading back down and into the rear center is a wooden stair case made of yew, this one is also met with a locked gate, however this one is broken off and a sledge hammer and pitchfork have been left lying against the wall.

In order to exit you'll have to cross the water feature which forms the third major point of the foreground, it runs from a small granite font at the edge of the back left feature right down in a meandering stream like fashion to a grate at the foot of the dying oak. You'll cross by a couple of small off-white rounded stepping stones. They have an odd jagged triangular marking on them. You will notice the "water" is actually very dark brown, almost black, and viscous. This area is edged (on the centre right) with a glazed redbrick raised beds to about waist height. The beds are straight on the external edges, but are shaped so as to proved a circular paved inner patio with two corridors separating the beds. There is a bench, made of industrial girders with red rust-proof paint, positioned so it looks out the first corridor and down towards the yew stair case, it looks like behind it there may have been another bench (this one facing the corridor to the top left section), but all that is left are the stumps set into the ground. The beds have a simple planting scheme of rosa species in various shades of red and leeks in amongst them. The bed nearest the foreground has had the bucket of a small digger dumped in it, crushing the roses and leeks. The corridor leading out of the raised bed area to the top left is a little overgrown with some thyme seeding into the cracks and small stinging nettles; a tall onopordum acanthium almost blocking the entrance. You'll have to push by it to carry on. Many may turn back here.

The top left section is, on the side facing towards the centre of the plot, bordered by a wall made of alternating wrought stone blocks with lichen and moss on them, and smooth polished granite. Inset in one of the granite blocks is the font which dispenses the brown/black viscous liquid which runs away from it to the oak tree foot. Behind the walls, forward facing and off towards rear centre, the soil is heaped up into a mound and planted with thymes and callunas, there is also some lunaria in seed rising up. The mounds smooth down to a third seating area, this one has deckchairs facing up to the back corner. The deckchairs are sat on a wildflower lawn and the rear wall is composed of moss and lichen strewn boulders with onopordum acanthium in flower and avena sativa in seed at the base, and a single giant helianthus annuus rising from within the rocks. You'll notice down beside the deckchairs is a stack of cut rings from pinus sylvestris, upon which is a glass and a decanter full of a warm peaty coloured liquid. Maybe you'll sit awhile, it seems nice here.

That is my concept. Free for the taking of any designer.


rhiannon_s: (Default)

August 2017

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